Conservative Solutions to Liberal Problems (Part II), by David Teesdale

blog_july08_economyLiberals were up the their usual tricks this past fall—no, not habitually stealing inter-generational candy from babies not yet born through historically high deficit spending—that had to wait till January. Many an American face matched their stock portfolios in October as 401k savings accounts were reduced to ashen shells of what they formerly were. The liberal elite quickly went about blaming the “free-market” in an effort aimed to, as only a short time’s passage would reveal, do more re-shaping of the American economic system than Ashlee Simpson has done to her face.

Truth be told (would I lie to you?), this has been a pretty common theme liberals have employed over the last century, so as to convince other-wise freedom loving Americans that they need to be protected from themselves. Unlike their feeble attempts to have us believe that the 75 year old American Legion vets lambasting squishy Congressmen in health care town halls across the country of late are simply on the payroll of evil corporate America (who are ironically on board with national health care, which benefits their bottom-lines), this technique has been rather successful.

Herbert Hoover, circa 1920's.  Looking suspiciously like Count Dracula.  Coincidence?

Herbert Hoover, circa 1920's. He happens to look suspiciously like Count Dracula. Coincidence?

This success is achieved through high school history textbooks (which they write), network news media (which they own), and through platitudinous political diatribes in the halls of Congress (where, more often than not, they’ve held majorities), which wrongly credit laissez faire policies with travesties as varied as the Great Depression and Paula Abdul’s departure from Idol. As a student of the Herbert Hoover administration, I know reality has a different tale to tell. The traditional tall tale has it that the debauecherous over-speculation of the “Roaring Twenties” led to the Great Depression, which deepened when the heartless conservative Herbert Hoover refused government aid to the destitute and feasted upon the blood of innocents. More centrist representations of Hoover depict him as a hapless and backward oaf, less evil, but still too dim to realize the wonders of government intervention.

Historically, however, the opposite is true. Hoover was in reality revered as a genius and engineer who had saved millions of people from starvation in Europe, and the “Roaring Twenties,” much like booms of the 1960’s, 1980’s and 1990’s, were the result of the tax cut policies enacted long before. As detailed in Mark Levin’s seminal work, Liberty and Tyranny, the Federal Reserve severely cut the money supply in 1928, during a recession and amidst a struggling housing market, and increased the discount rate to banks four times between 1928 and 1929. Congress passed protectionist legislation such as the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act, and, coupled with a money supply diminished by 30% over the next three years and Congress cutting off lines of available credit, this ignited a trade war, rocked the stock market and began the Great Depression .

Federal spending went through the roof during the early years of the Depression, and in 1932 Hoover signed into law the largest tax increase in American history, which raised the top tax bracket by almost 200%. As foolish as the idea that Hoover was a Reagan-conservative, is the idea that F.D.R. John McClane’d onto the scene to enact big government solutions and to save the American economy. The unemployment  rate went from 8.9% in 1930 to 19% in 1938, the year before the American economy was saved by WWII, not by social safety nets and entitlement spending.

Liberals, time and again, have a habit of trying to make sure that things such as cyclical recessions never happen again, and in doing so, pull a Scott Norwood (except they are wide left). So what are the conservative solutions to these problems caused by Fruity Pebbles eating liberals? Its hard to write an entire article about conservative solutions without simply writing “less government in everything” and calling it a day, but I’ll give it a go.  On to the best ideas since the L.A. Gears of Rascal Scooters:

  • Reduce the capital gains tax to 15% permanently and erase the corporate income tax, which catches consumers and stockholders with twice the taxes. Currently, the corporate tax rate in the U.S. is 39.3%, second highest in the world. Almost all other major industrialized nations of the world have, since 2000, reduced their corporate tax rates drastically and have lured U.S. corporations away from the motherland. Coincidentally, the value of the dollar has plummeted since 2000 as well.
  • Tax holiday. If we’re going to waste $789 billion we don’t have in an attempt to stimulate the economy, its probably better to give all American consumers a six month tax holiday where no income taxes are collected, at all. That would probably stimulate the economy a little better than, y’know, only 10% of the stimulus money being spent in the first six months of the stimulus plan’s lifespan.
  • Tax reform. In case you were wondering, you might get tired of hearing me talk about taxes. Repeal the 16th amendment and implement the Fair Tax or a flat tax. Repeal the death tax, to allow people to will some of what they earn to their heirs. Future income tax increases should require a super-majority. Reducing and reforming the income tax would immediately stimulate the economy. Reagan, along with reducing the income tax rate, closed up tax shelters and loopholes, which primed the economy for the boom of the next twenty years. Since, those loopholes have slowly been reinstituted by Congress.  These need to be eradicated.
  • Cut the deficit (trade and monetary). Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid have accumulated $50 trillion in IOU’s that they cannot begin to pay. All of these programs were originally incepted promising things that they could never deliver and intentionally deceiving American tax payers into believing falsely that they were paying into individual accounts. The Social Security payroll deduction is nothing more than a political consideration designed to make folks believe they are entitled to the spoils, even though the S.S.-Medicare tax is simply an additional payroll tax. Not a premium. Privatize them, as detailed here.
  • Eliminate, stall or reduce the minimum wage. The minimum wage increases unemployment among the poorest of the work force.
  • Require all people to pay taxes to dissuade abuse, and eliminate the automatic withholding, so that all people know exactly how much blood, sweat and tears the government exacts from them.

To be continued…

David Teesdale, is nursing various and voluminous Wii-related muscle and joint injuries. You can send all comments and get well cards to him at, or you can comment here.  Apologies to Scott Norwood, who is still in hiding plotting with Steve Bartman to re-emerge in the newly formed Justice League of Unwanted Sports Figures.


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